AUGUSTA, Ga. — Why do you love Augusta National?
Idiot question.
Maybe it shouldn’t have been asked. Not after Thursday, when he rewound the clock for 14/18ths of his Masters first round, only to be undone on the par-5 15th (quadruple bogey), the par-3 16th (double bogey) and the par-4 17th (double bogey). Nine-five-four. You dial that on a phone, but never on a golf course, should you want to answer the bell.
Maybe the idiot question shouldn’t have been asked following the cruel occurrences on the par-3 12th and the 15th. Thirty-four years ago on 12, on his way to winning, his ball somehow took a seat on the upslope to the green, leaving Rae’s Creek below thirsty. This Friday, after he backed away a couple of times before swinging, his ball landed around that same area, took around the same number of tumbles — and dove in. On 15 on Thursday, he found the pond that defends the front of the green twice on his way to that nine. On Friday, he dropped one ball into the water, but the hope, of course, is less than that. “I’ve never wedged it into the water or really wedged it 15 yards over the green,” he said. “In the old days, I went for it every time, but not for 10 or 12 years, and then now it’s water, water, water every time I look at the goddamn thing, and I don’t know why.”
Maybe the idiot question shouldn’t have been asked as he realizes that his singular identity to the masses — one of the best ever to hit a stationary ball — is becoming unrecognizable over time. In premier-level golf, birthdays add both candles and strokes. On Thursday at the Masters, he shot 78. On Friday, a 75. Maybe this year is the last one for the 66-year-old, though it’s unlikely. But perhaps next year. His goodbye is coming.
And yet, maybe now is the ideal time to ask. He’d declared his feelings ahead of this year’s Masters. What do they say in marriage vows? For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? Do you still love something when things aren’t going to your liking? You may get a bit of an anthem if he did. On him. On the Masters and Augusta National, which, while not necessary, is always welcome, given various states of world affair (and we’ll leave that at that).
And there he was on Friday, still smitten. He was practically prancing as he birdied the par-4 9th after a soft-landing wedge, and every man, woman and child got a fist-pound on the way to the 10th. En route to the 11th, he bypassed the rope-lined path, lifted another rope about 50 yards to the left of it and just walked among folks. Five dudes looked up from their green beer cups to see him in front of them. His swing on 14 was the epitome of “tempo.” But it was how he moved. Connection. A thump of the driver head against the hollow turf before he leaned on the club to grab his tee. A tilted-up head. The chest-forward strut toward the ball in the middle of the green floor under the blue roof. Walking up the 17th fairway, he also licked his finger to clean the face of his driver. Standing on the 18th tee, he licked his golf ball to remove a bit of dirt.
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But the patrons love it. They love him. If the Masters has a green jacket-wearing mascot, it’d be him, the 1992 green jacket winner. Ask a security guard at the 2nd tee how her day is going, and she’ll tell you about the “king” that came through earlier. Ask U.S. Mid-Am winner Brandon Holtz whom he’d want to play a practice round with, and his name comes out first.
So let’s ask him this:
Why does he think the patrons love him?
“Well, I’m better off here than other tournaments. I can be real on that. I’ll give you a real answer.”
We wouldn’t take it any other way. He continued.
“I have a lot of respect for this place. I have a lot of respect for golf.”
And that’s part of what I heard when I asked:
Why do you love Augusta National?
Here are his first 114 words.
“You know, as a kid you grow up watching it. I can’t tell you, you know, Sam Snead and what he did, Hubert Green, and then Jack Nicklaus winning and Tom Weiskopf. Those were all the greats. Weiskopf, Green, Sneed, they never won, and maybe they should have.
“Then you come here, and you finally see it, and you go, you know, it’s — I mean, the only other guy I’ve really heard use the same words is Phil [Mickelson]. It’s like paradise. People love it, but I consider it to be just the greatest walk you could ever have.
“There are great courses all over the world, but there are none of them like this.”
And here are the last 31 words to Fred Couples’ answer:
“First of all, you would have to be an idiot not to love Augusta National. I don’t know if you can use those words, but they might like that, hearing that.”
